Okay, I gotta speak out a bit here…..heck, I might even send a wrong message, have a hidden agenda, etc. but here goes…..
I’ve been told…it was an opinion….that I have a hidden agenda…..that I am sending messages and need to ‘come clean’. Sometimes I do, as a matter of fact, seem to send various messages……it isn’t only a guy thing, by the way!
But that brings up this whole issue.
I was listening to a news reporter recounting one more time how some person, judge, or agency had ‘sent a strong message’. What it was about doesn’t really matter…..but the idea that a message was sent is an interesting notion.
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It’s getting close to time to start putting my next year’s challenges on paper, make adjustments to last year’s results and renew my efforts for my future. You know…..the usual!
Have you heard, “If things are gonna improve, etc. in 2009, we gotta think outside the box?”
Now, ‘thinking outside the box’ is a pretty interesting phrase. I’ve liked it since I first heard it over 15 years ago, but I don’t like what has happened to it. It used to have power. What a pity that we have made it mainstream! Also, using it in commercials, besides just plain being out of context, takes away any possibility from it.
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Am breaking all the rules with today’s thoughts, and….
In reading the paper, watching news programs, and listening to my friends, it seems there are some things we are supposed to hold inside from now until into the New Year. Actually, the advice is to get into a crowd or busy place….you know, get with the spirit of the season, take the mind off oneself and things should ‘clear up’ or ‘ease up.’ Or we are asked to compare our problems with the less fortunate and that should ‘help’. We are being asked to rationalize away our feelings. Good grief!
On the other hand, obviously by another ‘wise’ crowd (so many wise people, and look at the world! Sigh..), we are told to ‘be here now’…’be in the present’…..there’s a whole publishing niche that dwells on the theme of NOW.
Wouldn’t NOW be like experiencing where one is, right NOW? If I am sad, how can I be ‘sad/not sad’? If I am concerned, how can I be otherwise, except to pretend or suppress something?
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Well, almost there…or almost past it all! I’m probably like some others….have gotten gifts for those I love and have struggled most with those I needed to impress.
The cards are sent, no turning back…I said what I said and now I must live the words…..or more truthfully, I’ll act like I am doing so.
I notice I selected the card designs like they were really a cover of me, who I think I must represent to them. I hope I’ve concealed who and what I really am thinking…..and it isn’t about them. It is usually about me…if they are impressed with the card, maybe that’ll hold them for a while, until I think of my next move!
As I re-assemble the year, deep inside I feel like I’ve cheated others by portraying something other than the real me….so I feel like I’ve cheated myself as well.
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This is going to read like a commercial and……..
I’m reminded of the fellow who went to see his Doctor. After an examination and the usual cautionary advice, the fellow says, “Doc, I didn’t come here to be told I’m burning the candle at both ends…I came for more wax!”
As I attempt to put some of my hopes and dreams onto paper, nearing the magic moment of 2009, checking off last year’s accomplishments, I’m aware that a lot of my ‘bucket list’ involves things for which I need to have some kind of physicality in place. Example, competing in the Senior’s Summer Games means that I can only choose what my body allows me to do. However, I would like to do the choosing, rather than eliminate choices because of some silly thing we call aging.
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Hanging on the wall next to my desk, is a framed certificate that says ‘Solo Certificate,’ dated 1980.
It came from my flight school and features a hand-drawn picture of an eagle, having just shoved a baby eagle out of the nest, with the little guy pulling out of a dive.
As with a lot of drawings, there are motion lines from the eaglet to the nest. They are supposed to represent the flight of the new flyer. For me, they represent a kind of rope or golden thread…..some way of providing a safety net, in case the little fellow was a bit of a lateral-thinker. He might also be envisioning the possibility of just climbing down from the nest. But, that’s just me.
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Wow! The software upgrade is pretty remarkable! Good job, WordPress!
As I sat at my desk last night, going over my list of seasonal greetings cards, I was reminiscing about a very lovely lady (not the picture frame lady) who passed through my circle of special people…..there are those fantasies again….what was it that had her not be a part of my real life? Well, it was….nothing.
Nothing? Yeah, I mean no words. Seems like I was caught in one of those, “Guess what I am thinking.” scenarios where the man was supposed to figure out what the lady was thinking, or what was appropriate or not with her, and respond accordingly. Seems that I didn’t, she wouldn’t, we therefore couldn’t, and now someone else might. Good grief, I just wrote a cowboy song!
Now, I cannot speak for every man, only myself, and I’m reminded of a piece of poetry……
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