In my previous post I spoke of putting folks, as our heroes or role models, on a pedestal when they had not wanted that in their life. If that has happened to you, how did you respond? Someone is living their life as it has presently turned out for them and parts of that life got targeted. The result is that the whole person is singled out as a role model and is expected to now follow our standards and not his or her own. Very common scenario, right?
My intention here is to merely ask why we sometimes choose to place others in front of us and pretend that pouring accolades on them is equivalent to our having those qualities.
What could be our reason for placing someone on a pedestal anyway? Of course, we should acknowledge the commendable process where we choose guides for our lives and we pick personally desirable qualities of others that we wish to emulate. Fine. But could it also be that when we are busy concentrating on the qualities of those others, we are attempting to take the spotlight off ourselves? While we are busy singing the praises of another, no one notices that we are delinquent in pursuing our own magnificence? Perhaps we are in ‘training or preparing’ mode? Fine. For how long?
Perhaps we feel incapable of following our own bliss as illustrated by Joseph Campbell in his works on mythology. He explains that this could be because we have concentrated our efforts on the ‘bliss’ part and attached material possessions to that bliss as a goal, or a signal to ourselves that we have attained the bliss he offered. Sure, what we earn or merit is of value, and this is not what he meant. And he certainly did not infer that we need to make endless preparations so we can immediately grab the ‘bliss ring.’
No, he said to ‘follow’ and that is where life provides its deepest meaning – in the journey towards doing what we truly would love to spend our life doing, even if the material rewards are scant or non-existent. I remember those times in my career when receiving a promotion provided me only a flash of satisfaction and then my life returned to ‘Yes, but…’ Those were times when I was expecting something to alter and make my career choice more palatable to me. In thinking about it, I relished the amount of satisfaction in just doing my job. Okay, parts of my job.
Dr. James Hillman, in his writing and research, has concluded that our entrance into life comes attached to a soul’s code, uniquely embedded in our own personal acorn (as a metaphor). Our core or essence emanates from that acorn, we need to express it in life and we live a life out of alignment if we do not. It is not about intentionally acquiring or avoiding wealth. Possessions are neither good nor bad, but living true to oneself could make the difference to a life that would provide us with fulfillment, regardless of our material status as measured by a consumer society.
Merely knowing about this stuff makes only a small difference. Why not place a ‘personally spoken for’ life on that pedestal and regain a power that has been forgotten? What is in our essence that is pushing for expression?
Engaging in the quest to remember the code of my core or essence is what matters to me, and is why I partnered with the Demers Group to co-write Authentic to the Core. You see, what got those heroes to be placed on the pedestal in the first place is not a miraculous transformation of talent but practice and coaching. Is our life worth that effort? That ongoing question is what matters.
Rich